60th post!

Solofest: i have decided that i don't give a s*** about it. i am going to play what I can. If my performance happens to completely not represent all of my practicing, thought and skill that has gone into it and how great I can actually make it sound AND how I can follow all of the "music rules" at once and if I make mistakes that I have never made before ever and have all my former mistakes done so well that they don't know how hard i've worked to correct them and happen to have a bad tone that morning because the amount of chapstick i have on isn't perfect enough to get my lips in between "papery dry and slippy" and "slippily coated in chapstick" and if I start warming up 1/2 way through the peice so I become out of tune with the piano or if I roll my flute a fraction of an inch in or out so that I become flat or sharp to the piano and if i run out of breath at a random spot in the piece because i feel particularly asthmatic that morning or forget to breath because of my nerves or just plain forget to breath AND if I get an really painful itch and I lose concentration for a second and screw up a few notes and get lost and start playing so loud at the start that I don't leave enough room for other dynamics and I start coughing in the middle of the solo or a dry mouth or tickle in my throat and have to stop and get counted off for it and my hands get hot and sweaty because i'm nervous and my embroture is slipping and I have to readjust my hands and I get counted off for slipping THEN I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE THAT MY WHOLE BAND GRADE IS GOING TO SLIP AND LOWER MY GPA AND HOURS AND HOURS OF PRACTICE WILL BE WASTED JUST FOR A 15/30 "POOR" AND THAT I CAN'T TAKE PERSONAL PRIDE AND SATISFACTION IN THE RELATIVELY PRETTY PIECE OF MUSIC I'VE LEARNED HOW TO PLAY. I DON'T CARE THAT ALL MY BROTHER EVER GOT WAS "SUPERIORS" AND MY PARENTS WILL BE HORRIFIED WHEN THEY SEE MY SCORE AND MAKE ME PRACTICE A BUNCH EVERYDAY WHERE THEY CAN SEE ME. I DON'T CARE IF MY SKILL IS UNDERREPRESENTED IN ANYWAY AND THAT I MIGHT JUST CRACK UNDER THE STRESS AND WRITE SOME SORT OF COOKY ENTRY ON MY BLOG. (oops i already did.)

as you can see, it's relatively hard not to care about solofest. i wish i didn't give a s***. but the band department has made that extremely difficult. And like almost all of that is practically out of my freaking control! though my life is going to improve by like 90% once it's over. wow, just writing in all of those caps makes me feel like i was yelling. my throat hurts now!
I actually can speak even though throughout the day my ability to speak has been hindered. I talked plenty at lunch because it's hard not to but i paid dearly for it in LA because my throat hurt like hell.

on a happier flute note (haha punny), i just was taking a break from my solo and started doing improvisation and I ended up pacing around the room, playing this awesome made up song that went on for like four minutes. i love it so much! I wish I had saved it and recorded it. I wasn't paying attention to what notes I was playing, some of them weren't even legit notes, or at least not the most commonly used fingerings. It just came so easily without thinking! that is what matters to me about playing flute, not trying to remember: rhythm, dynamics, fingerings, tone, breath, tonguing, tempo, key and key change, etc. etc. etc. all at once and still trying to make something sound pretty.

I want to draw people! I want to go outside! It's so nice out! I want to go the library! I want to take pictures of the pretty meltiness! no maggie, you fool! *whiplash* go back to your solo piece or yull taste my fist, maggot!

Colds should be freakin illegal

ick. my cold came back just in time for school. joy. i mean, who wouldn't want a sore throat and runny nose to go hand in hand with school induced fatigue and suffering?

I need to do my science current events. But i don't want to. really really badly. Le sigh. I'll start it after this blog post. Today at school wasn't actually that bad. I woke up 20 minutes earlier than I needed to (and like an hour after i should've fallen asleep) and in post-sleep delirium, I thought that my my mom was in there waking me up telling me that she had checked my planner and that all of my projects were due today. What a nightmare. Skipping breakfast was sad-face but i didn't get hungry (i ate my connect time snack purely out of knowing that i'd be hungry for lunch, guess what. I wasn't). Span was easy and the teacher seemed somewhat unprepared. which is fine with me. i read Inkheart because I don't have anything else to read.

I believe that my sandwich from lunch deserves an honorably mention on my blog. It was like gross bread plus way to much in the way of peanut butter and jelly. It was more of bread-coated slime. I wanted to pull it apart slowly and watch the bread slowly disintegrate, but mira threw it away for me. sad-face.

anyway, today was good, but tomorrow is going to SUCK. BADLY. DDDDAAAAANG. sciencesciencescience ick ick ick ick. I want to skiiiiiiiiiipp. there is no reason left for me too liiiiiiivvveeee.... and i like exageratiiinnnngggg...

AT on friday, w00t. I don't know who we're up against, but we'll crush them all!! (preferably stupid and confused 7th graders that don't know up from down. we could own them!)

I'm not getting any better at guitar hero. but what evs. medium is just fine for me. oh, sit ups in gym on wednesday! what better way to start the day than a grueling sit-up test? well, just about billions upon millions of things. on that topic, last night I turned on my audio book, turned off the light and lay down. To find that I wasn't the least bit tired and it was like 10:30. I'm used to going to bed like at twelve, but I woke up early the morning before so that I'd be prepared. But nooooooooooo. So I like jumped right back up and actually like did sit ups and stretched, and ran around my room a few times. I know, weird. it helped a bit and I can at least say that i fell asleep before 1. insomniac.

wish me luck on my current events.

so. life goes on. sadly.

Easier Said Than Done

So now my cousin and uncle are here from California, and my brother left on a band trip, so they're staying in his room. My mom stripped my brother's bed and asked me to remake it with clean sheets. Sure. I can make a bed, those are very elementary skills. Well it turns out I don't have very elementary skills. Let's just say... I hate contour sheets. And pillow cases. They're never quite big enough. it's almost as frustrating as listening to my science teacher spout crap.

besides me moaning about how I can't even, like, make a bed, it turns out my guitar hero skills are hurting pretty bad. but it was hilarious. Me and my cousin "tried" to play guitar hero last night and it was quite humorous. First of all, the guitars were like sucking, like the green button wouldn't work, or the "little red light" would turn off and we'd have to press a button to get it on again because the red light has some sort of essential significance. We finally got it working, but then either my cousin or the guitar messed up and we named our new band 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA' which might describe people's reaction when they hear us play. next we had to choose our characters. well it turns out theres some unwritten rule that none of the girl characters on guitar hero can bother dragging on a shirt in the morning so I went with some messed up character, that looks like a chinese school girl who fell in multiple vats of neon dye. And he chose some charming guy with a mohawk and no shirt. sheesh, these people need some clothes. Then we started playing, he got the bass part on easy, which is the easiest you can go, and I got the guitar part on medium, which is as medium as you can go. we did okay until he chose the guitar line. Once we failed 98% through the song. that should be illegal.

the teachers pretend that they're nice and don't give you homework (except for the science teacher) except for I have a bunch of projects due very soon after we get back

Science: normal homework, like test review. and the freaking Current Events project
LA: Book speech and project, like a diorama, i think i'm doing.
SS: Book project and WW2 project, low stress, but deceivingly so.
It doesn't help that in gym we're going to have our fitness tests. leave me alone. /emo\
I am so happy that math isn't that kind of class. It's great because the only thing that isn't like "1-25 5-6" is quizzes and tests and I don't study for those.

Today i am going to do the LA thing! And yes, I am putting off current events till last. because it's crud

Uccchhhghghghghghhglll

I'm SICK! how stoopy is that?! It's christmas eve!! Last night I had a 101 fever (I hate fevers more than like... school) Today i'm better by a lot and it doesn't hurt to swallow so much, so maybe i'll actually eat something and i'm not sure if i have a fever or not. our thermometer sucks so much it was like "96" "100" "99.8" "98.9" "95" "100.9" "98.5" i like the 98.5 one so i'm going to go with that one. in my mind. but if i'm going to be all contagious, even if i feel well, tomorrow, i won't get to go to x-mas brunch or dinner. :-(

so i'm just sitting on my bed with my fan on listening to Eclipse and tying a 7 string tie-thing. 7 string is hard, dude. so bye

Still have a bad cold :-p

I will let this demonstrate:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sickday.html

Okay, it's not that bad because i'm actually gonna go to school today but jeez. I think i got my bro sick to :-p

I didn't go to the retreat

Because I was sick today, dizzy when i stood up and I had a stomach ache and my throat was sore. :-p I finished To Kill A Mocking Bird, it wa better than i expected.

:-P I feel grahss

I feel sick. That's my excuse for not having posted for ever. Even though I only started feeling gross on like sunday. I've had a cold forever though (the beginning of time, I swear! Ever since that Norse guy was carving his shoe, I was standing behind him snuffling and coughing on him. Ever wondered how a shoe could take that long? It's because he kept on having to sanitize it because I was throwing my dirty kleenexes at it and coughing and sneezing on him. In the beginning of time there was no such thing as covering your mouth.). I'm going to have to tuff tomorrow out because we have the PreSAT/ACTish things, or maybe PIT (pretty important tests). So I'm not going to miss those.

The play is moving along unsmoothly (It's only day two) I have to play babysitter/mother hen to a bunch of sixth grade girls that just about make you want to giggle/scream, I haven't decided what. One of them doesn't even want to be in the play and wants to be home in bed, she hasn't quit just because she won't get her money back. One of them is really helpful and mature though (thank god at least one of them is sane) then theres a some-what-helpful but a bit distracted one, who i appreciate also. The rest play their violins (in the middle of writing the script) lie to me go to the bathroom without asking, throw cheerios at eachothers face without cleaning them up afterwords, litter and play tricks on eachother. I'm CONSTANTLY having to do a head count to make sure none of them ran away and died. The scary scary part is: there are only FIVE of them! I was supposed to have two more but they haven't shown up yet. Also, having only known them about 2 1/2 hours, I know all of their names and nicknames ect.

So I wrote the script by asking them what two lines they'd all like and preoducing our section of the script soley off of their input, with my lines worked it. It's okay but I'm scared of giving it to the play director, I feel like it's too long, not focused enough, not funny enough, or generally sucks.

I hate the veteran's interview project with all of my heart. I wish it was dead.

That is all. *Bow*